Date :: 28 March 2009
Time :: 2:40AM

i cant sleep and i dunno what to do.... yesterday is a bad day for me... i screw up everything... even to my parents.. i really dun wanna make this happen but it just happen so suddenly. i feel bad about myself for what im doing just now. but now its already the past. After consult from my brother, i feel very useless, very shame and wasting my whole fucking 3yrs after NS doing nothing for future... what i really want... what i really wanna be... what can i be? i really dunno...... all i know its feel the environment of the job 1st than know what im going for... but this way takes alot of year to experience it. its hard to find the right patch that you're going. life is not easy.... all must facing many experience to earn your GOAL. but who knows? maybe what im doing now its my future job or it just an interest? i know i'm wasting alot of time, never save and keep spending for those that i can afford. but there's no saving for my future.... im already no young anymore... im not a kids... but im still acting like a kids... :(

ThankQ brother for supporting me. i know that you're helping me, but in my mind, i really feel like dun need anybody help. i just wanna use my both hands to earn for it. i know its a waste of time. but this is who i am.... really appreciated that.

To Darling, sorry about yesterday....

To Dad & Mum, sometimes i really trying to help/do something up.... but end up quarrel and im become the bad guy... or can say bad son of the family... i admin, im a bad son...

well i stop here, cos there's some words deep inside me which i dun feel to explain out...
Sorry to everyone about yesterday.....

by right, after my birthday i already wish that i could be a better person(guy) or better MAN. guess now im fail.... and i still trying... its not easy... haiz......lucky now i still able to finish this post... my hand was injure. i broke my hand and now is bandage like a punching glove... hehehe still can type le... but spend alot of time to finish lor.... hehehee so late liao still cant sleep... well Good Nite....